Brace yourself for a terrifying fact of booze science: A lot of “hard colas” don’t even use whiskey.

Yes, that bottle of Jumpin’ Jack’s Black-Bottom Cola-Type Malt Beverage may look to normal eyes like a whiskey and cola, but actually contains “malt alcohol,” which comes from a chemical process you probably don’t want to think about, much less put in your cocktail.

Here in the Grisly’s Comsic Secret HQ, we’re dedicated to the romance, the wonder, and yes, the taste of real whiskey. In fact, we use a genuine aged bourbon with a high rye mash bill sourced from the same company that also provides grade-A barrel-aged stuff to some high-end whiskey brands who probably wouldn’t want to be mentioned here.

It’s because bourbon in your cola makes for a better cocktail, and just because a cocktail is in a can, doesn’t mean it can’t be one of the best ones you’ve ever tasted.